May
2002
The
Night Beat: Tortuga's Cantina y Dos Gringos Banditos
By
Shamus Burke
Taxes are due; so, to avoid the IRS for the night, we head over
the border to Tortuga's Cantina (located on South Clinton in the
'Burg). On warmer nights the deck is opened, but a dark chill
and the threat of rain forces my señorita and me to take
stools at the inside bar. People are wrapped around the bar, though
for a Friday, it is by no means crowded. But the low profile is
bien for los DOS banditos not wanting to be noticed.
In a dark corner, the deejay spins the best of Latino hits. I
don't understand a word, but the beat is so infectious, it put
a bounce in my cheeks. The bar is a clean and well-lit space decorated
with an American interpretation of authentic Mexican/Latino culture:
parrots, sombreros and tequila are the running theme.
We decide to steer away from commercially successful Mexican spirits
like Corona, Tequiza, DOS Equis and Jose Cuervo. These are not
necessarily bad choices, but they are the Cancúns of Mexican
alcohol. In search of a more authentic experience, I decide to
wash down the warm tortilla chips and fresh salsa with lesser
known beers and better tequila. I tell the bartender, Cliff, that
I'm thirsty for something Mexican without the sour commercialism
of a lime. Without hesitation Cliff directs me to the tequila
and margarita menus.
While we look over the 29 tequilas from which to choose, Cliff
begins to list and describe the various imported beers Tortuga's
provides. I start with the Negro Modelo, which is a shadowy ale
that is flows smooth over my tongue. La señorita has the
blue margarita. A lick of salt and taste of an aqua mellow, sweet
and sour secret, this margarita is all that's best of the Mexican
Blues. By the taste of the margarita and his apparent knowledge
of tequila and imports, Cliff can easily be recognized as a professional.
To test this theory I tell Cliff I'm feeling a little rock 'n'
roll and he knows just what I need: a dose of Sammy Hagar's tequila,
Cabo Wabo Reposado. He asks if I need lemon and salt; I tell him
I don't need training wheels. The salty citrus ruins the hints
of oak in better tequilas. (Personally, I prefer Caddyshack style
shots, but I'm behaving tonight.) Cabo Wabo has a light complexion
without the esophagus flames, of which tequila is often accused.
I try a couple of different beers to get a feel for the various
spirits Tortuga's has to offer. Carta Blanca is a light import
with no backbone. It's a beer that has a lot in common with water.
Presidente is a medium-bodied Dominican delight that is similar
to Corona. I have a second Presidente while the manager, Manuel,
tells me about the restaurant being under new ownership; the name
will be changed to Las Fronteras, but the concept will remain
the same. And he says there are plans to refurbish the entire
deck and tiki bar. I'm looking forward to that.
Cliff tells me that the tiki bar will be open soon and that there
is no other place to be for Cinco de Mayo (which will be celebrated
at Tortuga's a day early, on Quatro de Mayo). There are usually
a lot of drink specials. I tell him I'll be there; he tells me
I ought to be. What could be better than hiding from the sun in
the shade of a tiki bar with a cold margarita in one hand and
la señorita bonita in the other? I toss Cliff más
dinero and take la señorita a mi casa.
